Diploma.

Today was my last official day at Mill Creek. I graduated high school, after 4 full years of going to Philadelphia. I don’t really know what to say. I mean, theres so much stuff that has happened to me in the past four years since I’ve been there that one post alone wouldn’t be able to do it justice. I guess i’ll just start off by listing some of the things that have happened to me since I went to Mill Creek.

• I met my first girlfriend there.
• I lost my virginity with a girl from there.
• I set up the computer lab for the entire school with my friend Louis.
• I was there for a full four years.
• I got a job.
• I learned how to be more social and confident.
• I made a great number of friends
• I got into a lot of trouble and a lot of crazy situations.

Some of my accomplishments are the following from Mill Creek:

- Went down into the basement (catacombs) of the Kirkbride center before they declared an asbestos outbreak. Had to crouch down in order to walk, very very dark in there with all sorts of crap littered along the sides. It was a huge series of arches that were long and straight before splitting off into paths like the star on a phone. I went with Louis and Art to fix the internet for all of Mill Creek.

- Set up the computer lab with Louis and maintained all of the computers in the school for about 2 years before the staff decided to pull the plug on our unquestioned ‘administrator’ status. We told them to fix it themselves when they asked for our help again but denied our status.

- Went to 4 graduations, including my own.

- Tagged the study carol outside of the science lab. I wrote “Larson” because I hated Lisa’s Chemistry class. That’s what Greg, Mike, Dominic, Brian, and I used to call her. Larson, the really tall guy with the nail in his head from Happy Gilmore.

- Managed to go to every 6th period class for a full day except for music in one quarter.

- Painted the risers used for music. That green shit? I did it with a small roller. I got Art credit for it.

 Anyway… This is going to be all over the place since i’m kind of emotional about the whole thing. Let’s start with graduation practice for the past week. Never in my life have I had so much difficulty as to keeping a level head when kids are asked to sit down simontaneously and are unable to do so. I mean seriously, we’re about to graduate and we couldn’t all sit down at the same time. It was a nightmare. It was mostly hours of just walking together and sitting down together. Not to mention it was, as always, hot as balls in the ghetto auditorium.

I got a few teachers some gifts from me. I gave Bob a 4×6 and Janet and Jamie 8×10’s of my face to put in their office, each with their own little message on them and signed by me.  For Bob’s, I wrote “To my adopted advisor, So long and thanks for the donuts!” This was because Moira was my original advisor and Bob always brought me donuts when we celebrated my summer birthday in school. For Janets, I wrote “Now you can’t kick me out of your office anymore!” After Moira left, I started hanging around Janet. A lot. I left half of my classes this year and just showed up in Janets class until someone came and got me and yelled at me. She would always shoo me out of her office when she had to leave for class, and so I thought a giant picture of my face being a permanent addition to her office would be great. For Jamie, I wrote “Next time we meet, i’ll bring the ‘cocoa’.” I was really tired in one of her English classes one day.. Something came up about hot chocolate and I mentioned something about a cocoa plant. (Pronounced coh-coh-ah). I kept rambling on about it while she was like, “What are you talking about PJ?” I also gave a verbal gift to Mike, which I think he really appreciated. I finally had the courage to say to him that he was one of the main reasons I got my act together and really matured and grew up. I was always so intimidated by him but it felt good to finally tell him.

It felt like forever getting to 12PM, when all of the other kids left and it was just us seniors behind. I sat there with my (senior) friends who I ate lunch with this year: Dan Kimsey, Alex Bepler, and Saul Barenbaum. (Emily Geneta was off getting her hair done for prom, she had it right after graduation.) I realized how empty it was, and how different things were going to be. We sat and talked about how our loosely knit lunch group would almost entirely fall apart without us there to hold it together. I died a little on the inside and felt hollow… Pizza came. The seniors got to eat pizza and have punch… It was finally my turn after 4 years to get the seniors only pizza party. It felt different.. I still feel empty…

 Graduation itself was kind of a mess. We got to wear our robes, Black and White this year as it turned out with some Orange flower corsage. I’m not sure what kind they were. I wore a black robe. It was finally time to graduate… (My throat is tensing up as I type this, i’m starting to get emotional for the first time about this subject…) We lined up in our lines. I was behind Saul and infront of Sam M. We entered to the usual “Pomp and Circumstance.” I started walking as soon as the music picked up strongly, it made me feel important. It was blisteringly hot in the auditorium. I almost didn’t make it through the ceremony, I thought I was going to pass out from heat exhaustion. However, I made it and got my diploma!

 The reception was kind of nice, even though it was outside. The weather was 90 something degrees with 85% humidity. It was hell. However, I still managed to have a good time. I invited my mom, dad, sister, grandmother, Sarah, Joe, and Louis to graduation. I got to see some old friends who were invited to graduation and the family of some of my friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. I also felt a slight connection with Alicia again, but it was brief and it was because we were happy for the other for making it. I feel so lonely… After spending a long time there, I ended up being almost the last person to leave the reception. The teachers were already picking up chairs and stuff. I gave each of them a hug goodbye and left. I’m going to go back on wednesday to the Marsh Creek trip…

My graduation crew and I headed out to Marra’s. It’s an italian resteruant that Saul said was very good. It was actually, but I was already kind of full and the adrenaline from being on stage in front of that many people was going through me. I’m surprised that I was able to keep my cool and wasn’t nervous at all. I’ve really changed because of Mill Creek. We ordered far too much food. They came out in family portions. I had spaghetti and some pepperoni pizza. To make some strange events known that happened during dinner: I spilled a little bit of birch beer all over the table and a little on myself, I think I went into the woman’s restroom instead of mens (I can’t read Italian!), and we all got parking tickets for going over our time on the meters.

After we finished eating and all of that stuff went down, Joe went home in his own car and we took Louis to the train station before Sarah and I went home. Sarah left as soon as we got home and I opened a bunch of cards. I got around $750 worth of cash from all the cards and such. I was pretty happy. I’m going to seriously save for a car now that I have a decent chunk of change. I feel so sad all of a sudden while writing this. I’ve been at Mill Creek for 4 years. I’m not going there anymore… I feel scared and lost. (I’m starting to ‘tear up’.) I still haven’t applied to college yet or gotten my permit.. I’m a deadbeat. I’m afraid that I won’t do anything with my life… I’m afraid for all those kids that looked up to me at Mill Creek. What is it going to be like without me? Will they even care? (I think I might cry…)

I’m scared.